The secret of love is that it should not be made a secret.

got fed up being his secret
an entire year I tried
I tried and fought for him
and yet he still denied my love
to the world he kept it secret
while all that time we were lovers
and I was his other woman

the most liberating force
I have come to discover in love
is realizing I am too good to be
someone's secret.

cha cha cha

i went on a date with a guy whose gone to film school.
he doesn't make films now, he works at the mine.

we went snowboarding.
we have lots in common.
we both believe in chem trails, and all sorts of conspiracy theories.
we like watching documentaries.
he is really intelligent. funny. good at conversation. and has a great smile.
he loves to travel.

can't wait to find out where this goes.

all i have ever been searching for is love
it's the highest priority on my list of everything that i want, need, and hope to have
and i realize that i have it

why did you leave me hanging?

so he tells me... 
i'm the girl he placed 
out of his reach

distracted from the pain

maybe she just cares too much for the world 
because she is worried that she desperately craves love 
but it hasnt yet come her way 
so she concerns herself 
with something bigger than her own desires 
to distract herself from the pain of living without love

lights bassnectar

full moon nite ride

i want to be somewhere
far outside of myself

as of right now i am
locked inside this pack
of cigarettes
just another
chain smoker
lit up

far outside of myself
walking my bike up
this hill cause i'm too
damn lazy to pedal up
with a smoke in my lips
damning the darkness
and cursing the full moon
that has driven me mad
at midnight craving
for a pack of smokes
and for another
nights embrace

sometimes i want to be
somewhere far
outside of myself
leaving behind the
holds this life has
caught me up in
attacking day break
from this hill top
knowing that
no matter how
fast i ride
i can never hide
from myself
sometimes

i want to be
far outside
of myself

sometimes i

i throw myself off
with feeling too much for something
and needing to connect with love

and i can't even stand my own wanting
of things so far from my reach that
the desire becomes too much
for me to handle

so i run as far away
from outside of myself
until i feel like a different person

and i am no longer the woman that
fell in love with longing and
i have abandoned all reason

so sometimes i
throw myself off
of the top of the tallest
building i can find within
screaming distance to escape
from this feeling of being apart
from falling falling deeply in love
until i just can't take it anymore and i am
no longer that woman who needs to feel alone


.

By Nate... for Glo

random poetry...

She called me a poets poet
As she packed her bags for Canada 
To 
Fall in love with love with love 
She inspired in me that love is only dead when 
You give up on breathing and that you should 
Destroy it each time it breaks 
And start again 

She is beauty and grace
And gives me hope that
Love 
Really just might be o.k……..

.......................................................................

no go

i will never ask you to love me
i will never make negotiations
or demands or ultimatums
for your love

constant redesign

i am constantly redefining my definition of love
and now i am redesigning my self concept
when it comes to relationships

from now on
i just want to kiss
and not fall in love;
because even falling in love
doesn't mean much

so from now on.
there will be no reluctance
and no hesitation
in seeking out affection

and my arms will hold many
these lips will not stop kissing
and it won't be just one.

i'll proclaim myself
to be a single woman
on a mission to love

everyone

but
i am no longer playing
for keeps
...................................

burned

fist

holding a 

cigarette

sunlight 

on nailpolished

fingertips

smoke 

curling up &

out the car

window

thoughts

focused on

all that was 
lost with him

nothing

now but
smoke and ash

No dreams of night-time fires,

No cracks of light between walls,
Not even a sprinkle of gold
At the waking hour?

end love.

daydreaming along wide open roads 

we were driving into blue skies

i told him all my daydreams

of birds flying overtop faded horizons

and of distant city skylines 

with echoing city sounds

resonating deep into my heart

he dreams of faces and wonders 

why true beauty 

is always revealed in sadness

i wonder if that is how he will picture me

when thoughts trace him back

back along the wide open emotions

when we were falling in love 

driving into blue skies 

end poem. 

end love.

sparkle... just be happy

I want to be intense

and cause a riot in their souls

that refuses to be smothered

I want to be intense like I once was

before the dullness of everyone

surrounding me convinced me otherwise

wish I could just sparkle without fading out

yeah just sparkle without fading out

dare to be as open to all

they can watch it burst from my fists

i will scatter my desires

and build my fires into the day where

everyone else is hiding out

and scream that i am done

waiting for the world to let me

i want to be intense

and cause a riot in their souls

that refuses to be smothered

i want to be intense like i once was

wish i could just sparkle

seven minutes

i rise
from graceful pensive poses
and walk into my kitchen
the time is 10:33 pm

supper plate is sitting on the table
and what is left makes me realize
that was tonights supper
i can't even remember eating it,
except for the plate i see now.

i realize that the time is now 10:35
and the evening has left my memory
and I wonder what I have done.
i wonder what have i become
forgotten even to myself.

it's 10:40
what happened to the time?
what did i have for supper?
what have i become?

where my heart resides

tired

my resolution for this new years is to stop focusing on my career.
i need to focus on developing areas in my own personal life.
otherwise, i just might lose my fucking mind.

wondered

wanderlust - a strong desire 

or urge to travel or wander

downtown highrise buildings what i 

dream of at night when i close my eyes 

wandering souls on their timelines

is where i found a thought of you 

all this time i've been waiting

on some distant city skyline

redefine

i am continuously redefining my definition of love

to make love acceptable

so that i can open up

to accept it more

in whatever form it may choose to present itself

________________________________________\\

i am continuously redefining my definition of love

so that i can understand and accept

why it feels like everyone loves me a little bit

but no one loves me

entirely

to the depth and meaning and affection that i need it to be

_______________________________________________

i am continuously redefining my definintion of love

_______________________________________________

taking my joy

there isnt much that moves me
anymore. i don't fall in love

passion has lost its light
where i once followed it
to no end

i will not be here when
you come looking
because i have
given up on all of you

each and every
single
last
one

the age of forgotten

the age of forgotten

..permed orange greying hair and red lipstick..
the old woman says to the old man beside her on the couch...
'we should get married'
but we already are, he tells her.


the years have taken away her memory with Alzheimers
as well as her left breast to cancer
and today she buries her 71 year old brother
the years have taken him away from her too


each time she asked
and each time we told her the news
she never became overwhelmed with emotion
and never even seemed to shed any tears


together on the couch wife and husband together sit
he is 86 years old, humorous and healthy
patiently repeating to her all the things she has forgotten
..permed orange greying hair and red lipstick..

prophetic dreaming

the visual aspects of dreams

provide more tangible explanations

to me as 2why things are going down

the way they do

in contrast to

the silence that comes out across the line

trying to get through to you

__________________________________


i am understanding truth more

from the feelings

inside my own heart

than

from the words spoken

out of their lips

___________________________________


but i dare to bet you that i can ride

on my own intutition with my eyes closed

because the visual aspects of my dreams

tell me more truth than i have ever recieved

in the hints and subtle cues from you

____________________________________


love has always been

fleeting and predictable

____________________________________

she was always sucha sad girl

the usual melancholy is settling back in now


the usual melancholy



remember to smile

remember to smile girl as you recall the

lessons of discovering yourself and no longer

feeling the required anxiety in situations

where pleasure takes over and makes you sane



learn to enjoy yourself and not feel the need

to hide away your love and passions

and your needs and wants



i can feel the usual melancholy settling back in now

and with that all hope slips away too

remember to smile girl



but its never easy to feel unwanted

by the ones you want the most

now? is it.

high hopes to teh world i luv

to the world i finally love
there is no distance between my heart and yours

as lovers part
and reunite
there is not an end to the love i have for you world

Plead to Love

a plead to first love

i know what it is to fall in love with someone
in a heartbeat
like a stranger
and all you need
in that moment is just for them
to know you feel it too...
the same love they have for you

i know what it is to have that instant connection
cause it's been said strangers are just friends
you havent met yet.

and in that same breath
i want you to understand
that while it is so easy for me to fall in love
with everyone
that there is this love i hold for you too
the same love that has always been there
over the years
and while it may be too much to ask
for you to give all your love to me
just let me say this
that i want to love you
as i have always wished for at 11:11
you and me forever i would say
since the first time you ever mentioned it

and the years have come and gone
and we have come quite distant
reuniting.
its too much to ask fo you to give all your love to me
because i know how easy it is to fall in love with everyone
in this very moment
but i want to love you still
from now until forever
because with you
there has always been that connection...

Read more: http://www.myspace.com/sundroprays/blog#ixzz0wZz9LPzJ

Pondering the Possibility

there is that chance
that small chance
and glimmer of hope
AND SHE IS GOING TO TAKE IT
while the day dims
on the western hemisphere
she is flying into the dawn
all the colours of the day
explode violently inside
the heart of her
and all the possibilities
of second chances reveal themselves
too much anticipation to express in words
the love clings desperately inside
and waits graciously on her lips
for him to steal it from her kiss
all these thoughts
and more
when a true love returns
there is that chance
there is that small chance
he still loves her...

high hopes

I drove south on a Friday afternoon. Present situation tore through the half a year I have been building with my current boyfriend. Nothing would stop me from reuniting with my first true love.  I continued to drive south with no regrets and no expectations. Only there, was the reality of an invitation to meet by a love, I have hoped would return, for the past 9 years.

We spent the day and night together. And now my mind remains wandering in the daydream fantasy of what may be. or may not be...

high hopes to teh world i luv

to the world i finally love
there is no distance between my heart and yours

as lovers part
and reunite
there is not an end to the love i have for you world

this is my 
best fake 
smile

grin
that teethy
lip parted grin
grin and bear it
kind of grin


jaw clenched
saying
I'm SO HAPPY FOR YOU!


the kind like
when you find out

your best friend is
leaving the country

chasing down
a hope and a dream

on some made up fantasy
story of love

and you know she's
just headed down

that road of disappointment
and empty heart
hollow promises


i am sending out my
copy and pasted blessings

and hoping it will be
well received

and your life will be happy
life could never be better

and i will continue to find
contentment
contempt

or whatever comes from
pretending


that this is my best fake smile
and i hope you think it's pretty

it's all been said

its all been said
i can smile
that smile
that smile
that sweet girl smile
that lights up the room

yeah i can smile that same smile you want me too

but it wouldn't
be true
but it wouldn't
be true
no it wouldn't
it just wouldn't be true

kinda like the love stories and fantasy
that have walked in and out of my mind

it's always gotta come down
to this
it will always be about this
wanting love
and feeling lost and forlorn
thats where its disappeared to
any girl will tell you

and this is the story of
where the joy and light
has faded to
its gone
it's gone
so don't ask for me to smile
or to smile
for you

i don't wanna dance

anymore
because the love i was once promised
like the kind told to me on the pages of glossy magazines
that kind of love has all been said
and believe me
its all been
its all been

done

take a sabbatical

so occupied
with defending
my space

so occupied by others

i feel so occupied

use my time
invade my mind
take my heart
as if it was
only made to beat for them

i feel so occupied
with defending my
heart

leave me alone

leave me alone

leave me alone

not you
but all the rest of them
who have taken up residence
get the fuck out

i feel so occupied

profound

something profound

no matter what you say
no matter what you say

there is something profound in the way your innermost desires of the heart
are revealed without even a word being spoken from these lips to fall on these ears

the sandcastles we dreamed about on washed up shores of oceans a far
were built without our hands even sculpting them into shapes

life found me there today, sitting on my front porch step in the moment
where green life sprung from the park at my front door and i realized

no matter what you say
no matter what you say

i will be me. and time will carry on. and i will breathe in. i will become immersed.
life will take over. the day will be good. there will come a time when this smile will fade

but for now, while life and happiness pours through my veins and i feel this
profound something deep pouring out from inside of me into my day

it's this time when my mind, spirit, and body align. and i will be what i have
been intended to be by a source higher up than i have ever known.

i saw the sparkle follow me around all day today. and i believe it was from
a place beyond what my eyes could see. i believe i will be okay for another day.

no matter what they say
no matter what

misinformed

misinformed bleeding hearts misinformed bleeding hearts
is all that we are now

souls damned by pain bodies
lurking in storm clouds

rain that fell off and on
throughout the day do nothing now

to awaken the trees to bud
green life into the springtime

misinformed bleeding hearts
is all that we are now, and

muted lips shout obscenities
from across the empty lot

it's much much too windy
to hear,

                    or even care

just live with breathing

just live with breathing
as we sit underneath the sky
as it falls

watching the sunset
across the city
streets

we are kings and queens
of skyscrapers
who bow down

at the grace and mercy
of the Earth Spirit Gaia Gaia
yeah, so just
just live with breathing
as we sit underneath the sky
as it falls

sky

and blue skies

i was wondering
what it was like
to be a cloud

apology

to run against the wind

the wind has a way of
grasping onto my
carelessness


and now i am that girl
chasing endlessly after
windswept papers


a hundred sheets blown
with reckless abandon
to the heavens

Wisdom sails
with the wind
and time


Perchance,
no apology
is ever too late

want

want more than anything

more than anything
more than anything
more than anything

i just wanted him
and that song
and that breeze
and sunset rayz
across the urban
horizon
more than anything
i wanted to chase down
that strangers face
and trace back the
night we first met
and just asked him
for his number
so that now i wouldn't
be going crazy in wonder
of what it could have been

i just wanted him
in his leather jacket
and that song
and that moment
back in time for
another chance
i just wanted him
i just wanted himmore than anything
more than anything
more than anything

everything is elusive like my love

elusive
and fingers trace
along the edge
every so often

if it felt like anything at all
it might be cold
like stone

whatever it was
it's gone

and i've only the
stinging trembling
sensation along my fingertips

on my lips
like wisps of wind echoed
inside a hollow heart

to remember
what it felt like

just before the rain

just before the rain

under the influence of natures pull
we ventured outside
into the sound of thunder
and the smell of summer rain
just before it falls

small town back alleys
have a magnificent desolate
kind of feel to them
of overlapping trees arching the
grey brown dirt tracks

my niece and i made our way
like children do
through back yards and back alleys
and overcast green lush paths
to find a hint of that essence only found
just before the rain

i've got my rocker stance

i've got my rocker stance

i've got my rocker stance
and fuck you attitude
i'm going to
not stand here quietly

i would rather have
a revolution
than complacent-ness

but no. they are all fighting
between themselves
instead of for a cause
that is greater than themselves

and i stand here in my own
self righteousness
it's true

but at least i've got my rocker stance
and meaningless words
that would never have
made a difference anyways

wandered to the edge of reason

wandered to the edge of reason

i let go of a few things

becoming more present

and experiencing more

to life than i had known

to experience before...




i became aware of a

constant craving for

the need of love and

companionship. it has

always been there

and so far, not yet

satisfied.



it wasn't

so bad to discover

my fear and

short-comings



what are you so

afraid of? having

let go of?



to have

wandered to the

edge of reason



and found the only

sane thing there is

left in this life....

awareness and

experience of

life itself.

disaster

s. o. s as we 'brace for disaster'

Dear God.
not too much has changed here since the last throwdown
people still cling to their possessions

even a gigantic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico
and the news is telling us to brace for disaster
when we've already made impact

so while the rest of Haiti is still digging rebar
out of the rubble to manage for a few extra dollars
to feed themselves... and the fishermen in Louisiana
attempt for the last catch of fish this week before
the impact of the slick hits... (too late it already has)

please remember them
when you get into the
heap of junk you drive around
and you BITCH about the price of fuel
as it rises

all for the sake of
saving a few miles
on your feet.

we clung to
whatever hope we could cling to

thanks

for all my friends i made along the way


you were my company when i was alone
and sat through the darkest days
of what they call the darkest days of the soul

and the music reached my ears
and clung there
as i clung to the last echos of sanity
and we all go crazy sometimes
and we know it but can't change it

while reality
the solid gold clasping of body and mind
were too much to bear and life was
overwhelming... you could trace me back
to the farthest corners of my minds
left written in code. in poems.
it was my own escape. here. now

you were my company when i was alone
and sat through the darkest days
of what they call the darkest days of the soul

now that i feel ready to face the vulnerability of
opening up my heart to others to hold
()
now that i feel ready to love again
and to step into holding the hands
of the ones who offer them to me

i thank the lonely poets
and music makers
who have been my sanctuary

you were my company when i was alone
and sat through the darkest days of the soul

content

profound contentment

if ever there was a time of feeling, on the verge of this,
it would be now

there is this trick the mind plays on everyone i have observed
like when you meet someone you really like
and you begin to fantasize about your future together with them
and soon after the initial thrill, the dis - illusion is shattered

but half a year later
and one disagreement
now talked through and forgiven

i feel like i just might be finding myself
on  the verge of this

profound contentment

when, then?

so scratch that.
finding love again
after waiting...
fuck.

emerging

chance concrete

city sidewalk
along 2nd avenue
was where i scratched my name
into wet conrete along with you
and we scurried away like kids
when the lady of the house
walked out and caught us.

when our love for each other
could only be perceived
through eye contact
and i had daydreams
oh i had daydreams of me and you
and waves of e,motion would wash
through every part of me
as even my lips ached to brush up
against his skin

if the situation had been different
if we didn't have to worry about
whether we would ever be caught
in a romance that allowed our love to
be physically expressed
maybe if the lady of that house
along 2nd avenue
hadn't rubbed out our names
and we had been allowed to just be

then maybe there
would have been a chance
for you and me